A solid relationship is not maintained on one thing alone.  A couple needs to show kindness and appreciation for each other.  Each has to communicate well and keep the other feeling loved.  So, Don’t think from this post that the only thing you need is fun.  On the other hand, relationships also need some fun.

There are many different ideas circulating about how to have fun: what kinds of things to do together, encouragement to be innovative, and tips for laying a groundwork so a couple can have fun that works.  I like exhaustive lists, and would like to provide one here, but there is just too much.  So, here are three points I think are important.  They are not the top three, perhaps, but they are significant.

1.  Put time into it.  People have to make their couple time a priority or it will slip away.  There are always things that come up and the busy-ness of live will take over.  Schedule time together and put it on the calendar.  Make your appointment with your partner as firm on your calendar as you make your most important business meetings.

2.  Deal with conflict, but not during the time for fun.  A couple needs to keep up to date on conflict and friction between them.  If there is a crisis or conflict, it needs to be worked out.  If you work it out, the fun time will be a better couple time.  If there is an ongoing conflict or problem, you still need to have fun; or, the relationship will not seem to be worth working on.  Even in the midst of trials, take time out for the fun.  Agree that you are committed to resolving the issue, that you will come back to it later, but that you will take a break to enjoy each other.

3.  Use your imagination.  I do not mean that you dress up or role-play, although you can if you want.  What I mean is try different things, use variety in your activities.  Try something new together; surprise each other; volunteer together; do something with another couple; find things that are free like a walk or a movie in; play a board game or listen to a favorite CD; do chores or cook together.  Try something that is out of your comfort zone and laugh about how that went.  Think about your partner’s hobbies or interests and plan do something along those lines.

Coming up with the ideas might be the hardest part of the whole process; but if you do not give some thought to number 1 and 2, you will never get to the rest.  Get started by just getting started.